Miracles

I love the tongue sticking out. That is so Jeff! (and Calvin).

I know it can sound a bit dramatic or maybe even overused, but I truly do believe in miracles. I have been feeling very grateful over the past few weeks for my Isaac. He has been doing so awesome lately.

Isaac was born with hearing loss. He was diagnosed at about 6 weeks old. My perfect little baby suddenly had a flaw. A big one that I knew nothing about. Calvin (4 years older than Isaac) asked when Isaac was about a year old, "Mom, why did God send us a broken baby?" He wasn't being mean, just curious why Isaac's ear's were "broken." My heart ached.

At first my feelings were mixed with naivete and fear. I thought that since he wasn't deaf, it must not be much of a hearing loss. I didn't know there were different degrees of hearing loss. Naive. And then I thought of all the things he might not be able to hear or do. Like speak. How could I communicate with my son? Fear.

I remember thinking it didn't matter if I sang him to sleep as an infant because he couldn't hear me anyway. Or when he was in the bathtub without his hearing aids, I figured I couldn't talk to him because he couldn't hear me. Quickly we learned about decibels and hearing aids and started to witness his reactions to certain levels of sound. He loved it when I would sing right up close by his ear, it was really sweet. The first year or so was still pretty stressful and overwhelming. We found hope and help with resources from the deaf community. We spoke and signed with him as much as we could. But he offered little response, even to the signing, for the first 16 months. I worried.

Sometimes I would feel confident and hopeful about his future. Other times I would feel frustrated and fearful. I would come home from appointments where we would do Auditory Training and she would tell me he was at the level of a 6-9 month old when he was 14 months old. I would cry. He was an extremely active, wild toddler and I was often embarrassed about his behavior in front of other people. I was sensitive to the stares from strangers or even the innocent questions. I felt like they were all excusing his outrageous behavior when they saw his hearing aids. They probably were.

I worried a lot. I prayed a lot. I cried more than usual. Mostly because of my fear of the unknown. As I prayed, I always felt comforted. I always felt the Lord telling me, it will all work out. But my impatience always seemed to doubt and wonder "well, what EXACTLY does that mean? How will it all work out? Will he be healed? Will his hearing loss go away? Or do I just need to accept it and be happy with however it works out?" I was always worrying that hearing loss was only part of the picture.

But, as it always does, time moves on. When he was 16 months he finally started saying his first words and signing his first signs. "Uh-oh" and "ChooChoo" and "car." He finally made it past the first milestone! Since then we've had lots of setbacks and lots more milestones. His crazy behavior has made me cry SOOOO many times. I've been at my wits end too many times to count. Even Jeff has wanted to throw in the towel. Even our friends with 7 kids would comment on how wild he was and how they hadn't really ever had a child do this or that (that was my daily occurrence with Isaac). I knew most parents didn't really want to trade babysitting or have him over to play (most of my friends still did, bless their hearts). But I always had small glimpses of the boy he could be and it gave me hope.

Over the past few months Isaac has made remarkable progress. We have hit many awesome milestones this month. Two weeks ago his speech instructor told me he doesn't need speech anymore. He is 90% intelligible and any few sounds he can't say ("L" or "th") are age appropriate. His preschool teacher wrote me a note telling me how fantastic he is doing in school making friends. She told me to send his preschool books because he is ready to read. We've been reading his first few books this week and he is doing great! He has lots of friends at school. We were at soccer on Saturday (he scored another goal at his game and was on cloud 9) and two different boys called to him from across the field to say "Hi Isaac!" He knew both of their names and said hi right back. His gymnastics teacher told me he is doing awesome in gymnastics. (He's even in the 5 year old gymnastics class...he just barely turned 4) and she said he "listens really well!" (Which is really saying something) :) Even friends and family members have commented on how his behavior has really improved. Mikey is entering the terrible twos and is always picking a fight with Isaac and Isaac rarely fights back. Jeff and I have noticed a HUGE difference at home. Our home is so much more peaceful. He hardly ever screams or has tantrums anymore. He is really a fun kid to be around. That boy I knew he could be and was inside and hoped everyone else could see, he's here all the time!

I really feel like the Lord has blessed him and us. I know that He answers prayers. I've learned that my time frame and the Lord's are not usually the same. And that I am a pretty impatient person. (I'm learning to be better...sort of). I never thought he'd be this far already. I hoped, but wasn't sure. I truly feel like where he is today is a miracle. Maybe not as dramatic as some, but a miracle nonetheless. I know there are more challenges to come but there are also more triumphs to come. The Lord gives us challenges and then helps to make us whole. I know that Isaac's challenges and triumphs will be a strength for himself and me and others. He is seriously one awesome kid. :)

PS - Calvin would feel slighted if I didn't tell everyone that he scored an awesome goal in his soccer game yesterday too. I think that is 6 for the season! Calvin is such a worker out there on the field. He NEVER stops running. He hussles to every ball and is absolutely addicted to soccer right now. Good job Calvin! :)