Gratitude

Last night I spent a half hour reading a neighbor's blog who I've never met. I cried and cried. The post was written by the husband who unexpectedly lost his wife last week. She was only 32. They had 3 children: 6, 4, and 2 and she was 8 months pregnant with their 4th. They were just settled down after the kids were in bed and suddenly her heart stopped. She had a weakened aorta that was repaired when she was 4 but for whatever reason just gave out suddenly last week. She died before they got her to the hospital. They were able to deliver they baby after they got to the hospital but the baby only lived a few days. He wrote all about the experience. Telling his kids. Living without her. Feeling grateful for a loving Heavenly Father to help him get through this difficult time. I cried and cried.

Jeff is in Chicago right now. He left yesterday morning and as I was reading this last night I couldn't imagine him not coming home tonight. As I went to bed alone, I thought how grateful I was that he would be back with me the next day. I can't imagine if it was never. If all of a sudden he was taken from us. I can't imagine my life without him. He is my very best friend. I share everything with him. I can't wait for him to come home from work every day. We talk multiple times throughout the day. There's nothing I'd rather do than be with him. No matter what we're doing. Sometimes when I've had a hard day he tries to get me to go out with a friend or by myself just to have a break but honestly my break is to just be with him. I am so grateful for every day we have been able to spend together and I'm looking forward to years and years more together. And eternity. I love everything about him. He makes me laugh, smile and enjoy life to the fullest. I really can't believe that he wanted to marry ME. ME? He could have had anyone and he picked me. He is so head and shoulders above me in every way. I don't know how I got so lucky, but I did. I'm so glad I am. I don't want to ever take him for granted. I know I have. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE him!!! I can't wait for him to get home tonight. I'm so grateful he's coming home. My heart aches for that family who has lost their wife and mother.

Last night as I said my prayers I was so overcome with emotion thanking my Heavenly Father for such a wonderful husband, father and friend. I sobbed. It's not often that I say my prayers alone since being married but I was last night. I prayed aloud and thanked my Heavenly Father for Jeff, for my children and for His plan of happiness and eternal families. I thanked Him for my Savior. As I said those words aloud, "I know that my Savior lives. I know that He loves me. I know that he died for my sins." I was so overcome with the Spirit that I could barely speak. I repeated the same words again and was so filled with love from my Heavenly Father that I thought I might burst. The Spirit witnessed to me so strongly that the words I spoke were true. I know they are. I have always known they were true and it was so strengthening to have a renewed witness of their truth.

I want my family to know that I know my Savior lives. I know that He loves me and each one of them. I know that he atoned for our sins so that we can live with Him again. I know that He created families because He loves us and wants us to be happy in this life as well as the next.